I've been thinking a lot lately about my future. Not just your typical thoughts about a career, house, dream care but specifics. I wish my time was now to have another baby but I have to be smart. It's depressing to want something more than the air I breathe and have to be patient. But anyway... I have a lot planned out down to the color scheme, baby shower, baby swim classes, newborn photos, CAR SEAT! I want so badly to have the life I dream off. It's been off but I am still grateful for so many opportunities. I still question however but I know I shouldn't. I question, why me? Why did I have to lose a child when there's so many unfit parents out there that are able to mass reproduce. Why do I have to feel this pain 24/7. I pray that God is preparing me for something great but I don't know what could be greater than having my baby boy would have been. But I will continue to wait and practice patience... what more can I do...
No comments:
Post a Comment